Chiang Mai, Thailand
A Morning in March 2017
Slowly my consciousness awakes out of a short, but deep sleep.
As I get aware of my body I feel a faint breeze of the chill Chiang Mai morning air that comes through the slightly opened window. Just as I open my eyes to spread my awareness even further, I realize that the untouched morning sky is still covered in the shadows of the night.
Minute by minute the sun-rays awaken the colors in my room to life, uncovering even the corners where the darkest shadows of the now gone night still linger.
As I gently turn around, I see your blonde hair next to me. My mind can’t, but go to a place of wondering why it is so rare to see a light-haired heart waking up next to me..
Leaving this question unanswered, I let myself feel into the moment, remembering the night we spent together; I smile.
I love having someone breathing next to me. I love waking up next to a beautiful soul.
Even though we’re waking up together, in one bed, we are both awakening to our own reality, in our own space, to our own day.
I feel the warmth of your body next to me. Your messy, sun-kissed, long hair looks like an invitation for my fingers to play with it.
We awake from a night of intimacy. Warm skin on skin, touch & playful togetherness. A night of trust and understanding.
I like nights like that. They fill my heart with love and contentment.
A love I am learning to hold even when no one is there to give it to me. That is something that has become so crucial in my life. Something I have to be so very careful with, especially when being close to someone.
As we wake we get closer, we smile, we look into each others eyes. We kiss and hold each other and we are fully immersing ourselves in the moment.
There is no awkwardness, no questioning the presence of the other person, just space filled with light touches, smiles and warm bodies.
I love having someone breathing next to me.
I love waking up next to a beautiful soul.
I don’t need to hold on to the ‚us‘ in the moments we create with each other. I don’t need to be certain that we will wake up next to each other again. I don’t even need to know if I will look into your blue eyes ever again.
All I need in this moment is for it to be real. For both of us to be here, now, fully.